She Was Tempted To Cause A Scene

I wrote this last night but the interweb was not cooperating with me. So better late than never. Just like a period.

So here I am, full of pasta, relaxing on the couch after a hard days' work. And by hard I mean I had to stay awake all day and wear clothes. It was rough. But jokes aside, it was actually really annoying to wear a skirt and shoes. All. Day. Alright I'm done now. It actually was really great to get up in the morning and have something to do that made me money, instead of costing me money. Which is great because I'm severely low on said money. But I have not asked The Bank of G. Munro for a loan (yet) so I feel fairly grown up and mature. Having people give me things like room and board and food and cars has been a life-saver, however, so I can't be that mature after all.

Have I mentioned I'm listening to 'Essential 90's' on MTV as I write? 1) I had no idea MTV still played any music videos, but burned them all to make room for gems such as Is She Really Going Out With Him? and Geordie Shore (which are equally awful in different ways.) And 2) the 90's were awful. I have to change the channel because this is just terrible.

Well that's done. Is anyone even still reading this? To the point! Which is, of course, that there is no point. Hah! So anyway I am feeling a lot more 'me' this evening. Not quite the neurotic, whiny, pre-Aus Frittany we all knew and loved. But I'm a lot more on the ball than chilled out, lazy, trouble-putting-together-cohesive-thoughts Brittany. I was sitting the reception desk today, having gone through a bit of training and having done a lot of helpless shrugging at people who looked to me for direction, when I finally spoke to a visiting man and typed the right things into the computermachine, and did a job and felt productive. It was like a switch flipped on in my brain again! As much as I hate to admit it, I enjoy admin office work. Don't get me wrong, I still want to get my shit together and become a touchy-feely scarf-wearing therapist lady. But this will do in the mean time.

So that's that. On to the fun stuff. Two weekends ago I went out for Amy's bday. We met in Canada, and I became good friends with her and the rest of the 21 Jump Street crew (so named by me, because their apartment number was 2109. Those silly Aussies didn't know 21 Jump Street was a show in the 80's and were amazed when the movie came out. But now they make fun of me for not knowing about AUS shows like 'Skippy The Bush Kangaroo' which is essentially 'Lassie' but with a kangaroo instead of a dog. I digress.) So most of what we all did in the days of 21JS was get smashed and wreak havoc on Calgary night life. Yelling agressively at random people in the street was Kelsie's thing. Stealing glassware was Amy's forte. Jo drunkenly skyped her bf. Luke aka Maddog usually ended up hurting himself somehow. Saara got asked if she was a lesbian, because of her recently shorn hair. (I now know how she felt.) Bondy was generally drunk all the time.

My thing was getting in to dance offs. And most of the time, winning said dance offs. As I have mentioned many times before, I look psychotic when I dance. So I'm not sure if the people I'm dancing off against have all been somewhat handicapped, or if everyone is always too blind drunk to know what's going on. Probably both. The main thing is, we were a mostly-reunited crew at Amy's bday that night, out at the Hip E Club, which has been referred to as a dirty sweat pit. It was great fun and inevitably, I was in a dance off. Luke recorded me during this manic display and the next day I made a fatal mistake. The thing I swore I would never do. I watched myself dance. It was funny, but also disturbing. I couldn't get the lanky-limb-flailing spectacle out of my head. When I went out again this past Friday I couldn't relax and just looked like the bored boring tall girl in the corner. I was sure that all had been lost.

But wait, there's more. I met up with some friends of mine on Saturday night, after a few glasses/bottles of wine. We were hanging out in a magical fairyland of string lights and installation art called the Perth Fringe Fetsival or something like that. I was en route to the washrooms when I saw a tall hipster man in a white blazer tearing it up on his own personal grassy dancefloor. Before I had a chance to think about it, my body was in action. Crazy legs and spaghetti arms and head whipping everywhere! It was a brief but powerful moment. I was back to normal! The tall man gave me a congratulatory hug and said "you're great!" To which I responded with a queen-like shriek of "Giiiiirrl!!!!" because I am now apparently a flamboyant gay man when I'm drunk.

And so no matter how corporate I am during the day, I have a feeling that Frittany will still have her shining moments at night. Or during the day on weekends. People drink a lot here, it's basically a national pastime. And even if I now know for certain how silly I look while I'm grooving, I still have fun. There's no point in hiding who you are. Unless you save your own condoms*. Defnitely hide that. Now off to bed I go, to dream of all the adventures yet to come.

 

*Reference Point: http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/gross%20habits

 

 

 

 

High Times in P-Town

The lights go out and people scream. Bodies shuffle and bump together in the darkness, waiting for what will happen next. Lights suddenly blaze and the screams get louder. Shadowy figures walk out on to the lighted platform in front of us. No, I'm not in some sort of cult torture dungeon, I'm at a Presets concert in Freemont, an artsy suburb of Perth. Music starts and everyone jumps up and down, waving their hands in the air. Almost immediately I smell the pungent odor of boy-armpit. As an aside to my story, I think that nightclubs should add 'deodorant applying' to the list of things you have to do when entering. ID, check. Stamp, check. Deodorant...nope? *spray spray spray* Check. Anyway, I move away from the smelly area, over to where my friends are dancing. I close my eyes and let my arms go limp, my body relaxed. I don't so much hear the music as feel it, and my body starts to move accordingly. I'm 99.9% sure of two things while this is happening: 1) I look totally insane, or possibly that I'm having a stroke 2) I don't care. My apologies to anyone I slap/elbow/step on/bump into. It's done out of love, I assure you.

So that was last night. A few hours (not nearly long enough) later, we walk out of the club sweaty smiling messes. I feel exhilarated. Lately I've been having strange, intoxicated moments on the dance floor where I feel like I'm experiencing time as a fluid, that I am feeling emotions and sensations from past, present and future. I am totally aware that I sound like an acid-tripping free-love child of the universe type right now, and maybe that's where I'm heading (minus the acid, that's a drug I'm happy to leave alone). The point is, I feel very connected to myself, who I am as a person and who I am within the universe, with all of it's mysteries and delights, and it's a truly wonderful thing.

Ok, enough with the semi-spiritual ramblings (just out of curiosity, does anyone have the faintest idea what I'm trying to say in the previous paragraph or am I just driveling on?). Perth is proving to be a very welcoming second home. It's ridiculously spread out, I have no idea how long it would take to get from one end to the other but I will take a guess at an hour and a half, maybe two. But the coast is beautiful and the sunsets are breathtaking.

Aside from the landscape, the people I've met are simply amazing. After my blog post last week, a lovely crazy girl named Joanna just up and gave me her old car (which I will be picking up today! I did a practice-drive to the shops yesterday and it went pretty well. I'm no longer convinced I will die behind the wheel.) Two weeks ago I knew six people here, now I know at least triple that. And I don't mean 'know' as in I met them once and have trouble remembering names. Know as in I actually really enjoy them, greatly appreciate their kindness, hospitality and openness to this limb-flailing Canadian, and can't wait to have more adventures together. As I said, amazing.

I do still think of home, and while I can't imagine leaving Australia right now, I see photos of snowy mountains or friends being silly together and a tiny part of me wishes I was there. But there is time for all that. For now I'm going to take my book, my sandwich, my towel and have a solo picnic under a nice leafy tree outside. Life is very good.

Aussie Realness

Well it's one month and one day since I left Calgary, sniffling along with my Dad as we drove east, with the city lights fading behind us. Not going to lie - it seems like much longer. I woke up today with the sun streaming in at 6AM, the temperature outside already over 20 degrees Celsius. I can barely remember the freezing wind stinging my face as I waited for the bus in the morning darkness, mountains looming far off in the distance. 

I miss home and I don't. I miss my friends, knowing my way around, and feeling like I have a purpose (though going to work had become a rather pathetic purpose). But I love the sun. I love the way people talk here, even when I have no idea what they're saying. I love being able to wake up and do whatever I want. Whatever I want seems to be a lot of nothing, and I feel lazy and useless, but my friends who have travelled before tell me that's ok. 

It's hard to pick things to write about. Everything seems at the same time amazing and mundane. I found a new favourite ice cream treat called a Golden Gaytime, the name is hilarious to me and the treat is delicious! People are obsessed with meat pies and chip dip here. They seem to allow breasts to be shown on TV. There are bugs everywhere but not in a gross way. Last night I witnessed a small army of tiny ants transporting the carcass of a fly along my windowsill. I watched for a while but then decided to kill them, which I felt a bit bad about afterwards. I think I need to find a job soon, 1) because I am running out of money 2) because I need more human interaction. 

Last time I wrote I was in Sydney, trying to acclimate myself after the fiasco of New Years. Well it was amazing, aside from my sandmite suffering (I still have a few bumps on my legs/feet. I am a leper) and that one day it was 45 degrees outside. Denton was a wonderful host, and I think we were both very pleased that we still get along very well. Bonding over dancing and drinking and certain other substances probably helped, and I am definitely wishing Sydney were closer to Perth. I'm looking forward to when I can go back. 

Brisbane was next, to see my friend Bondy. I was only there for four days but it was a nice visit. Brisbane is a very quiet city compared to Sydney. We went to an amusement park one day and I ended up getting my picture taken with a koala, which I had at first thought was stupid but then realised was very cool and I'm happy I did it. I'm cautious of looking like a lame tourist, but since that is exactly what I am, I should probably just embrace it. 

And now here I am in P-town. Meeting Jo and Kelsie at the airport was wonderful, a flurry of hugs and girlish cries of 'eeeeek!' and 'oh my god!' An hour later we were camped out at Jo's house, in a suburb with some ridiculous-sounding name, having a snack (meat pies) and chatting like we had never been apart. That night she had a bunch of girls over for wine and snacks and, well, girl time. It was refreshing, especially after my three week long exposure to all things male. Last night we went to Jo's parent's house for a BBQ and they were absolutely kind and welcoming, her nephews running around being adorable and dogs dashing around underfoot. I realised how long it's been since I lived even remotely close to 'family', and I think it's something I've been missing. 

I also haven't lived this far out of the downtown area of a city since...well probably since I lived on the farm. It's weird, especially since I don't have a car. Even if I did have a car I would most likely get into an accident immediately after pulling out of the driveway, as everything is still backwards to me here. I've only kind of gotten the hang of crossing the street without almost getting run down. Well, car-less and directionally challenged though I may be, I'm going to venture out today and find a mall so I can pick up some necessities (mostly things I need for my Big Day Out music festival costume and some kind of Australia Day paraphernalia). Perth not be the most easily accessible place to be, but I think I will enjoy it immensely. Either way I need to figure out my way around since I've barely left the house or put on clothes since Saturday and my growing interest in ants is troubling. Wish me luck.

Fish Out Of Water. In Water.

Finally back to blogging! I feel a week (more maybe? My concept of time is very fuzzy) is a long enough time to pull myself together somewhat and make coherent sentences. Maybe...well I will try to give you a brief idea of what has happened thus far.

New Years Eve: white party on an island. White as in everyone wore white, not everyone was a racist.  Wasn't sure what the fashion scene on the Gold Coast was, so showed up essentially dressed as a boy in shorts, loose t-shirt, boat shoes. Turns out girls still make an effort, even though it's hot and they live by the beach. Oh well, I saw my first kangaroo and drank all the cheap vodka I could and danced like a prancing reindeer and only cried once. Had a typical Canadian moment and threw up on the beach, heat exhaustion + jet lag + being a wussy. I recovered, thanks in part to Alex's watchful father-eque eye.

New Years Day: beach, watched the boys surf for the first time and am definitely into it. Much more interesting than watching people snowboard. Swam a bit, which helped with my hangover (amazing!). Went to an afterparty and danced like a crazy kangaroo on speed. They have this amazing pre-workout drink powder called thermojet, which is kind of like ecstasy, minus thinking that you are in love with everyone and then wanting to kill yourself the next day. Was still suffering a bit of jet lag though, and wound up laying on the ground away from the rest of the group waiting for a cab, looking up at the stars and singing to myself because I was cranky and missing home.

Jan. 2 & 3: suffocated with boys. Observed many things such as picking noses, commenting on/critiquing every girl in sight (the feminist in me was slightly irritated), general disregard for shoes, cutlery,  shirts, vegetables. I love hanging out with Alex, but being treated like one of the guys is something I haven't been exposed to in a long time. Still had fun, but was happy to see Denton in all his  homosexual, golden-tanned glory.

Jan. 3 - Present: was fed up with my haircut and had it basically all chopped off. Feeling a bit like a lesbian, but mostly feeling very light and edgy. Have been suffering from foot leprosy since NYE and I think I will finally cave and buy some ointment of some kind at the chemist today (you win this time, sand mites). Been staying with Denton and meeting his friends and going to nude beaches and it's been absolutely amazing! Feeling much more settled and calm, not so much like a fish out of water. Or, more appropriately, a bear out of the forest. Hah ha haahhhh. Sorry.

It's strange to be away from my routine, and everyone I was used to talking to on a daily basis. But it's incredibly freeing to know that I can pick up and do whatever I want whenever I want. On a whim I decided to go to Brisbane to visit my good friend Bondy after I leave Sydney, where he has assured me we will misbehave like beautiful young hipsters, possibly get married, and generally have massive amounts of fun.

I can already hear myself using the words and phrasing of the people here - it's just so catchy. Time seems to move slowly and there is a feeling in the air, even in the city, that people are just relaxed. I think I will head out for a run, and will try not to trip over the tree branches that sometimes pop up out of the sidewalk. Have already suffered massive leg bruising from unknown forces, as well as tearing up my hand while climbing a tree. But salt water is great for healing and I am a resilient fawn. I promise my writing will become more cohesive...there's just so much to do, to think about, to see. It's hard to nail these experiences down with mere letters and words.

A Mixed Bag

Saying goodbye. Coming home. Packing up. Christmas. It's been a strange month, by turns I've felt giddily happy, sobbing with sadness, void of emotion, and so on...not to sound melodramatic (I mean to sound melodramatic). I know I'm not the first person to ever leave their home country. We live in the easiest age of world travel, it would be only a few (hundred) dollars for me to fly back across the ocean if I decided to.

But that's not the issue. I grew up in a small farm, beside a small town, went to a small school, with whom I once considered to be small-minded people. I feel no sense of "home" when I am back here, especially since my parents split up a few years ago and the familair smells and tastes and traditions of home no longer apply. It could be much worse; I'm not trying to complain. It's just that I feel very disconnected to this place, where I spent the first 17 years of my life.

Looking back at my old wedding pictures that still hang out in boxes upstairs, it is reinforced to me how much I have changed. Even from my years in Winnipeg I feel like a totally different person. I was there a few days ago and felt only a vague sense of recollection for the places I used to frequent. I doubt I would rememember how to get from one side of the city to the other.

I know I will feel this way about Calgary someday. I moved there for someone, and I have no regrets. In nearly four years there I had more of a familiarity with the city than a real bond. Calgary and I had an understanding of sorts, we didn't get too involved with one another. A health card is one thing, but a property is quite another. I had no desire to settle there.

What I miss from all these places is not the restaurants, the scenery, the places I've lived. I miss the people. The moments I hope to never forget...
Cam and I sneaking off during spare to his grandparent's house to eat grilled cheese and cookies. Denton and I playing the piano, singing and dancing like mad fools in the band room during lunch break.
Matt throwing up that first Halloween before we had even gotten in to the bar.
Jumping out of the truck as soon as Dad put it into park, running up to Justin and throwing myself into his arms, certain that we would be happy together.
Meeting this girl Rachel with wide blue eyes and a beautiful genuine smile, who turned out to be one of my very closest friends.
Billie-Jean and I, so drunk we could barely stand, promising to be sisters.
Closing the door and walking away, feeling my heart breaking.
The fear that shivered down my spine, shocking me to the core as I realized he could hurt me beyond repair. Reclaiming my sense of self, my confidence and my safety, albeit many months later.
The feeling of acceptance and home of 21JS, with these people who understood me even though we grew up thousands of miles away from each other.
Dancing and falling and laughing and smiling until my face hurt; that crazy pinwheel feeling where I know I'm out of control.
Paul looking at me in earnest and sharing his heart.
Smoking shisha with Kiran, finding common ground in our life experiences, in being women.
Listening to Stacy and Kayla giggling in the living room. "What a wonderful sound to come home to."
Crying on the floor and telling Amber the things I had managed to avoid saying for almost 8 months, which didn't drive us apart but instead drew us closer together.
Dominos and cider and dancing and laying on Bobby's rug, purely enjoying the present.
Looking out across the mountain peaks, thankful that I hadn't died on the way up, and seeing two bald eagles straight across from me, then gliding and circling higher and higher. Knowing that I am connected to everything, and that life is a gift.

Some of these memories are bittersweet. But they are important. They are things that have happened that have led me to where I am now. I'm not looking for an adventure so much; the way I see it my entire life as young adult has been an advenutre. I'm looking for a place to rest. To feel safe. To be free. I don't know what will happen, I've tried not to give myself any deadlines or barriers. I'm excited. Terrified. Grateful. Sad. It will be hard to say goodbye to my father, who has been with me through everything. But I can't wait to step off that plane, in a different place, in a different time, with people I love immensely and so many new things to discover about myself.