Of course I'm writing about this, it's the pre-Halloween party weekend and everyone is gearing up for some slut-tastic costumes. I did a quick Google search for some ideas and the results were vast. Some of my faves are: Racy Robin Hood, Pandalicious (a panda), Beetlejuice Secret Wishes, Chinese Hot Sauce Adult, Sexy Miss. Tin Man. I mean, it's just so hard to choose...[SARCASM!]
Ok, Sexy Nurse/Cop/Wonder Woman/etc. are all very understandable. But Beetlejuice? There is nothing sexy about Beetlejuice. Or a bottle of Chinese Hot Sauce, really? At what point in your life do you look at a bottle of Chinese Hot Sauce and think "I'd really like to fuck this, if only it had breasts and a vajay." Suddenly you're at a Halloween party and all your dreams have come true!
I understand the desire to want to dress scandalously, there is a certain power in dressing like a stripper, yet being unattainable. And let's be honest, getting attention when you look awesome makes you feel even more awesome. But are we really at a point in our lives where we are willing to dress up as a Sexy Crayon for some attention? I don't think dressing 'sexy' for Halloween is a crime, but for Jack The Pumpkin King's sake, let's get a bit more realistic than a bottle of hot sauce.
But what if you don't want to dress sexy? I felt the social pressure last Halloween when I wanted to dress up like a scary Medusa. I wanted people to look at me thinking "hmm that girl looks hot I wonder how much cleavage she's - oh sweet lord she has no soul!" I wasn't sure how to do this, but I set to work buying snakes for my hair and black-out contacts, looking up images of the real Medusa for inspiration. But as the day got closer, and my friends were talking about their costumes, such as Sexy Red Riding Hood, I started to feel this pressure to be less scary, more sexy. I had visions of going to a Halloween party and my boyfriend looking with lust at all the other 'Sexy' girls, but being stuck with me, the soul-less Greek myth. So I caved, and ended up with a weird combination look (let's call it scaxy) that probably seemed like I just hadn't tried very hard.
Well no more!!! This year I've decided to not give a hoot, and am dressing as Lumber'Jack' (there will be a uni-brow; I'll post a pic or two). In part to make fun of the sexy costume ridiculousness, and in part because I like faux facial hair. A lot. I know that most people will look at me with confusion, maybe even disgust. And I don't care, because while I know I could rock the Sexy Zombie School Girl like nobody's business, I would rather save a version of that for the bedroom. Instead I will pay homage to one of my favorite cross-dress promoting H-ween movies, and much fun will be had.
Rant over! Happy Friday!
Oh, and Happy (almost) Halloween!!!
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