It's easy to convince yourself that you're not actually being crazy (whether you're a girl or guy) when really you are in serious need of an intervention. With an intervention banner and solemn background music. To prove my point, let's do a simple quiz.
1. When you are close to your sig. oth., you like to:
a) smile at them when you catch their eye
b) smell their hair when they're not looking
2. When a person of the opposite sex checks out your sig. oth., your first response is to:
a) feel confident that your companion is attractive, and pleased others think so too
b) immediately start grilling your companion with questions like "Do you know him? How do you know him?? Do you think he's hot!? Have you had sex with him?!?"
3. When a random, unknown Facebook friend posts suggestive comments on a few of your sig. oth. pictures, you:
a) casually bring it up next time the conversation turns to Facebook drama
b) actively stalk the commenter online and send them threatening messages
4. When you find a pair of underwear that isn't yours in your sig. oth.'s home, you:
a) confront them about it
b) burn their house down
Alright, let's tally. If you got mostly a)'s you're doing great! Keep up the good work. If you got mostly b)'s, I'm sorry but you might be a Crazy Bitch. And yes, this applies to guys as well. Now as you may have noticed from my ramblings thus far, I'm a pretty cool chick (also incredibly humble). Really though, I have other sources who can back me up on this claim. But no matter how chill I am with my friends and their relationships, when it comes to my relationships I can be a raving lunatic. One time I threw a book at a former lover. Actually, now that I think about it, I've done that twice...dammit.
The main reason this kind of craziness happens is because you've been hurt in the past, and you now have issues to deal with and baggage to get rid of. It can be tricky business, especially if you're a serial dater. To anyone who has gone through a bad relationship I say: just be single for a while! Take some 'me' time. Honestly though, I haven't always followed my own advice on this topic. Sometimes you meet that special person and you just really want to be with them. If you go down that road, you may need to tell yourself that this person is not your ex, and you may in fact be acting like a CB.
When this happens consider the following: what kind of a person is she, outside of your relationship. Is she honest? Is she trustworthy? Does she have good quality friendships? If she's an all-around good person, she's probably not secretly having sex with all your friends. Also, reverse the situation you're freaking out about. If he was calling you out for not immediately answering every single text he sent while you're out for a girl's night, would you appreciate it? Or would you think he was being ridiculous?
I'm not saying ignore the total obvious. If he or she is at the local disco grinding one out with someone else, you need to have a serious talk (or, just break up with them, whatever floats your boat). But generally, just try to keep a level head. Vent to your friends, have a snack, get more sleep, go out and do something that doesn't revolve around them. Everyone is entitled to have their own lives, even if they're in a relationship (especially if they're in a relationship!)
The main thing to remember is, as my wise owl father told me, you can't push a rope. Think about it...pushing...a rope...no, it's not possible. If your gf wants to cheat on you, no amount of surveillance will stop her. If your bf wants to treat you like crap, no amount of nagging or pleading or oral sex will stop him. So the next time you feel your inner CB starting to get rowdy, step back from the situation, think rational thoughts, and just say no. Unless you're drunk, in which case you're pretty much effed and I hope you have a patient partner. Contrary to what MTV will tell you, drinking rarely improves the situation. Neither does teen pregnancy. Lesson over.
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